I NEED TO STOP WASTING TIME AND GET
It is clear to me that I have a problem, I need to stop wasting time and get things done. I know that in order to make things happen, we need time but when we have the time we do nothing about it. At least I don’t or haven’t. It’s like we want to continuously give ourselves excuses for not doing what we want – “Oh, I don’t have the time”, “Oh, I don’t have the money.” It’s all excuses that we make ourselves to not feel bad.
I mention this because I have said all of these things to myself and when I finally have the time to work on what’s going to take my life further, I just don’t. It is so frustrating that I don’t take advantage of the free time I have, as I should. I need to learn to be more discipline and organized with everything I do if I want to make things work.
I guess big part of this problem is because there is no immediate accountability for not doing anything about it. But if you really think about it there is and it is time, time that will not come back. I know, I don’t want to tell myself in the future: If only I did thing earlier!
I am glad, I am aware of this about myself, I know I have to work on this. I need to go for it and not waste time or just sleep in just for the sake of it (laziness). I want to create things and see the fruition of my work!I NEED TO STOP WASTING MY TIME AND GET THINGS DONE AND SUCCEED! I NEED TO STOP WASTING MY TIME AND GET THINGS DONE AND SUCCEED!
NOTHING COMES EASY, WORK FOR WHAT YOU WANT!
RUNNING IS MY MEDITATION
Some people meditate, others do yoga but me, I run. The more I run, the more I realize it is key for me to keep a sane life. I haven’t practiced meditation and I’ve done yoga a few times but every time I am done with my runs no matter how long or short, I always feel good and at peace with myself.
Now that I am doing it more often because of the upcoming marathon I will be running in LA (Achieving Goals) I have noticed that skipping a day or two changes my mood, I stress out more than normal. It feels as if I miss getting rid of all the crap in my head and all the bad thoughts, it puts me in a weird mood.
Running literately oxygens my brain and I can feel it right away, I can tell by the way my state of mind changes. It is positive, I feel accomplished, wanting to do more with a completely different outlook. Something that keeps happening, for example, is that I think about something in specific and have negative thoughts about it. I look at it as if there is no way out but once I go running and during or after the runs, I have a different perspective. I can think of a solution to the problem or just be hopeful and positive about the situation.
I love the relationship I have with myself while running even if I don’t feel like running, which happens often, I know I will feel much better right after. It’s like a double win, mentally and physically because every time I run I am improving myself.
IMPROVE YOURSELF MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY!
FEELING DOWN TODAY, I’M FINE.
Gray day, the sun never came out today in San Francisco, it has been raining all say and to be honest I feel down, There is no specific reason why, I just feel down today, I just do.
Yesterday I had an eventful day a full day. I ran, exercised, went to a march and hung out with friends. It was a good day but then this morning I felt empty with no desire to do anything. I have heard from friends that sometimes it is normal to come down after a high, being surrounded by so many people . I guess I got a high from it but inevitably a down came with it right after. That was the only reason I could think why I felt this way.
As the day progressed, I just accepted it, today is not a good day emotionally. I did not feel depressed, I was just down. Watched TV, went online and watched the rain fall in a gray San Francisco day. I know this feeling is momentary and tomorrow I will be fine. Sure, we all have days like these, they suck, I want to know the reason why they come? I just knew the next day I would be fine back to my routine running and enjoying life.
SOME DAYS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I Recently had an eye opening experience with my brother, I needed to be reminded of all the things I have accomplished and really put things in perspective instead of focusing on all the things I have not accomplished yet.
I am constantly focusing on the negative and complaining about the things that are not working out in my life. The constant struggle and the uncertainty, not being able to plan a future for myself. I have been so focused on that for the longest time that I had not taken the time to think about all the things I have accomplished.
If I think about it, I have done and I am doing what I wanted to do. I finished high school, came to San Francisco for college got my Bachelor’s, decided to get a Masters and went to Spain. Traveled throughout Europe and eventually came back to San Francisco. Leaving San Francisco and being gone for a couple of years made me realize how special this city is and how much I love it. I always knew I wanted to live in a big city, have the experience of living in a metropolitan city and meeting interesting people from all over the world. I have done everything I wanted, of course with the help of my family, but if I didn’t have the drive to pursue all of those things, none of them would have happened.
It took my younger brother to take me aside to tell me how proud he is of me. For going after everything I want, for going against everything and not caring about people’s judgement and living an honest life. He said that I may not see it that way because I am focusing on the things that I’m struggling with at the moment but since he is able to see it from a different perspective and look at it from another point of view, he can see all of the things I have accomplished.
To be honest I did not expect to hear this from him, although our relationship is much better now. Growing up we were always fighting with each and not necessarily affectionate towards each other. I really appreciated his words so much so that brought tears to my eyes. It immediately gave me perspective, it was like a slap in the face to react and really be thankful for what I have and look at things differently.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE!
CHANGE IS ALWAYS GOOD!
Change is always good, I feel like every time we have the opportunity to change things in my life it always brings new things in my life. Things that I may have never been exposed to if I never made that change or being forced to make that change.
I recently learned that I will have to move out of the apartment I have lived in that past three years in San Francisco. The news came as a surprise, it was totally unexpected and though initially I thought this was the worst thing that could happen to me, I took the time to think about it and I changed my mind and thought this could be something positive, a new beginning.
I have been living in this place for a while but to be honest this apartment does not reflect my style, I’m at an age where I should make this transition into living with by myself or at least that I love. It is curious how things workout themselves, this change is pretty much forcing me into adulthood. Forcing me to find my own place, forcing me to make that move that I would not have if the circumstances were different.
I am definitely stressing out about it but I know this is the right move, I need to do this. It feels like a chapter is ending and a new one is about to start. I have previously mentioned that sometimes I feel stuck and that things don’t go my way, I think this change will help move things along. I am impressed with myself and how well I am taking this news, I could be stressing out, crying and pulling my hair not being sure what to do but for some reason that is not the case. I am stressed out but happy… Looking forward to this change and not playing the victim on how things don’t work out my way.
EVERYTHING IS ABOUT PERCEPTION!
As part of my new year’s resolution I decided I wanted challenge myself and push myself to accomplish tangible goals. This year I decided I wanted to run a marathon, I am a runner and love running! I have only ran a marathon once before and this will be my second one. I loved running it the first time and I want to repeat the experience. This time to make it more special I decided to sign up in another city, this time I will be running LA Marathon. I have been in LA a few times but not enough to say I know the city. This marathon will allow me to see the whole city literately!
I have noticed that every time I have a race/goal my state of mind changes. I focus on accomplishing this challenge and this time of course, I want to do better than my last marathon. it keeps me focused on training, running and really paying attention to what I do to my body. It not only is a personal commitment but also a financial one too, which helps to really take this seriously.
The LA Marathon will be on March 19th, I already started training but still have not gotten to the half-marathon to have an idea of my time. I will run it in the next few days and share my time!
LIFE IS ABOUT ACHIEVING GOALS!
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?
I often think about my purpose in life, Im sure we all do, and though I am still not 100% sure what it is, I believe it has to do with helping others. Helping people overcome difficult times.
For this reason, I write about my difficulties and thoughts about life. I am sure many people like me may be going through hardships and just knowing that other people go though similar situations makes me feel a little better in the sense that we can all relate to one another. Just by knowing that other people are going though similar situation helps us realize that we are not the only ones feeling a certain way about a situation we may be going through.
I struggle everyday with little things and for a long time I thought it was just me but as I have opened up and talked about my insecurities and curiosities about life and human behavior, I have realized that I am not as crazy as I thought! Life is like a roller coaster or as a friend recently told me: We are water and as we know the ocean sometimes is unpredictable it is never a smooth sail, there are parts where things are smooth and others that are going to be rough we just need to learn how to handle ourselves in those situations.
When having deep conversations with friends, I have realized that I am more in tune with myself that I thought, I know this from their feedback. I am aware of what is not working in my life and I know I need to make some changes in my life. I just need to start working on a plan to make those changes! I think we all need to get to a place were we feel connected with ourselves, our feelings and be aware of our surroundings. Things are never going to be PERFECT but it all depends on us to be fine with it and make the most of our situation, make a change and find happiness even in the difficult times.
New Year, New Me!
2017 is going to be my year… New year, new me! I am done struggling, thinking the world is against me and feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of feeling this way, I switched my way of thinking to believe that this year will be the start of great things.
I am constantly complaining about my finances, career and non-existent relationships and how miserable I feel about it, how I wish it would be different. I have done a lot to get out of the misery and feel like things are going my way but in all honesty it all ends up falling flat. NOTHINGS HAPPENS! But for some reason, I feel differently now… People usually say when you want a job you have to believe that job is yours, project that and you will get it. Or, if you want a change you have to have within you to make those changes. Perhaps, your are rolling your eyes while reading this, I know I did every time I heard someone say this but for some reason I believe it now.
I have noticed how I’ve changed my way of thinking, I am more positive. Small things don’t affect me as much and I am hopeful things will change for the better SOON! I’m doing fine, it’s just I want certain parts of my life to improve and that’s what this year will be about. I want to be fulfilled, take ownership of my life and take it to the next level. I know I have been stuck for a while and it is time to change that. Some things are already happening that leads me to believe that this will be a good year!
I KNOW GOOD CHANGES ARE COMING TO MY LIFE. fkfk .jjd
I wrote this entry last year and though I some aspects of my life have changed since some still need work. I enjoy reading this and wanted to share it. It just starts with a simple: How are you feeling?
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
I have to take a minute and really think how I feel right now. Right now at this precise moment I feel fine, I’m at the beach by myself drinking champagne and listening to music. But lately I have been all over the place. Some days are good, some days are bad. I wonder if this is normal? Sometimes I feel like this is not stable and not a normal way of living. Sometimes, I wonder if I suffer from a mental disorder because I stress our easily and when it gets bad I feel on the verge of getting a panic attack.
Something that makes me constantly worry is my financial situation. I feel like I live my lady day to day and not being able to plan ahead. I am now 28 years old and no financial security, I am sure I’m not the only one going through this but I just want my situation to change. Part of my current situation is because I DO NOT work 9-5, stuck in an office feeling like a slave. I prefer to do hard work for less money but have the option to decide when to do it.
I want to have control over my life in that aspect but my financial situation has suffered because of that. It may seem as little ridiculous that I am complaining about my situation yet in a week I will be in Miami and Cancun for 2 weeks. Not that I can afford it, my bill swill be waiting for me as soon as I get back but this is my life and in my opinion there has to be a balance.
I have realized that life is about experiences and though I have only lived lived financially independent for about 3 years and still figuring it out, I know i’d rather be in debt creating experiences that will last forever than saving money or living life day to day as I see it I could easily die tomorrow and regret it.
As I write this I realize how sometimes we drown ourselves in a glass of water… Perhaps, I see it like this now that I have a few drinks on me. But when we… or at least I am in that situation it is hard for me to see it any other way. My way of thinking and my way of dealing with problems has to change, there is always someone that has it tougher than us.
BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS
Lately, I can’t help and compare myself to other people my age. I’m at an age where my friends are growing professionally, starting their families and doing bigger and better things. I’m almost 30 years old, I am starting to feel as if the train is passing me by and I’ve missed it. Not necessarily because I want to start a family and have kids but more in the professional sense. I am a prepared individual that went to college and grad school but internally I feel like I still feel like a young recent college graduate that is unsure of what the future holds.
I know, I undermine my own goals and accomplishment and I should be proud of what I have been able to do since I graduated college, I am proud. But at the same time, I feel like I should be way ahead of where I am now. I am also aware that I am a very inpatient person and this may have a lot to do with the way I feel about the course of my life.
Sometimes I think about other people’s situation where they may be in disadvantage but still are working hard to move forward and are not complaining about their situation. The uncertainty about my future and not being able to plan ahead is the reason it affects me so much. It has limited my focus by not allowing myself to think about other aspects of my life. I consider financial stability to be important in order to allow myself to think about finding love, starting a family and or just planning a future in the long run.
I know financial stability will not give me the love or happiness I am looking for but it will give me the stability I need right now. I am aware and working on other aspects of my life daily to be more happy and enjoy the small things in life.
Then again, I put things in perspective and I think about my life and where I am right now. I live in one of the best cities in the world (San Francisco) where a lot of people would love to live, I have a job (doesn’t pay enough) and I am healthy. I have everything needed to succeed or to have a “good life” but it is also hard not think about the things I would like to have or the things I do not have. I have realized that everything comes down to perspective and outlook, there will always be something lacking or situations I am not content about but if I accept the situation, no matter how hard and work hard to move forward and get out of it, things will change eventually. I always say to myself “This is only temporary.” because I know I want bigger and better things in my life.